In my Vow Writing Guide, whether you call them vows, promises, or commitments they will have a profound impact on your lives. This is the blog you need to give you inspirations when writing your wedding vows, help you deepen your understanding of your personal commitment to each other and understand any cultural traditions from your heritage. This guide will take you on a journey through a world or promises and their significance.
Vows are a significant part of our human connection. The represent a thoughtful pledge, a binding promise, and a commitment to uphold certain values or principles. These promises can be as personal as we wish when incorporated into our wedding vows.
In this blog there are ideas on how to write heartfelt and meaningful wedding vows that will capture you love story and intentions for the future.
My role as a Celebrant is to help you to decide and write the kind of vows they would like to make. Getting your vows down on paper can be a daunting task. How do you put all your thoughts, feelings, memories and aspirations for the future into just a few lines? How do you remember all of that and say it right when all of your family and friends’ eyes are on you? And your eyes are on your partners. You will so want to get those words right!
Don’t worry, this is just what this blog is designed to do – help! Follow these simple steps to help you write your perfect wedding vows.
SEARCH FOR INSPIRATION
What does ‘everything I do for you’ and ‘you are beautiful in every single way’ have in common? Yes, they are both lyrics from songs. Music and poetry are an excellent place to start when writing your vows. Put your favourite type of music on, search poems online, sit down, relax, and take inspiration from them.
As your Celebrant, I too can help. Remember, we have built up a relationship, you have completed my questionnaires and provided me with an understanding of the things you love about each other and your approach to wedding planning. I have a plethora of examples too, lists of word of wisdom to get you started.
DECIDE ON THE RIGHT MIX
I always suggest to my couples that they sit down and discuss whether they would like the same vows, would they like their own or a mixture of the two. Are their traditions within the families that they would like included and is faith important to you both? Yes, you can include faith-based vows in a Celebrant led wedding.
Do agree on the length of the vows too, especially if you are writing your own vows separately as you ideally want a balance on the day. You wouldn’t like you partner to feel dreadful if you have written a novel!
Also, decide on whether you are going to keep you vows as a surprise on the day or do you wish to share them beforehand. Whilst I’m not someone who likes surprises this is one occasion when they are definitely a good idea.
THINK OF STORYTELLING
Become the creative writer you’ve always dreamt of being. Get out the laptop or tablet, a notebook and pen and start jotting down your story. Some of this may already be in my questionnaire and is a great start, I can always send you a copy. In the questionnaire you will have already answered so many story telling questions.
- Why did you decide to get married?
- What hard times have you gone through together?
- How have you supported each other?
- What challenges do you envision in the future?
- What do you want to accomplish together?
- What makes your relationship click?
- What did you think of when you first met your partner?
- When did you realise that you were in love?
- What do you respect most about each other?
- How has life become better since meeting?
- How does your partner inspire you?
- What is the first thing that comes to mind when you close your eyes and think of your partner?
- There’s a good starting point for you both.
MAP IT OUT
You now have some good ideas for the content of your vows. It’s now time to draft it out. It needs to follow an outline. Consider the following:
- Affirm your love
- Relive some memories
- Offer praise to your partner
- Offer promises
- Close with a final vow
Try and get creative. Think outside the box and what has meaning for the two of you. It’s about making it personal to the two of you, it’s about what YOU would like to say.
CONSIDER THE TIMINGS
When you have your first draft, think of how long you would like them to be. Stick to one or two minutes, however, it is your wedding, so your choice. There’s usually enough opportunity in a two-minute vow reading to express your love and for your loved ones, who are listening to your beautiful vows, to reach for their tissues.
PRACTICE AND READ THEM ALOUD
Use your mobile phone to record your vows so that you can practice them out loud to get a true sense of how they sound. It’s an opportunity to get your tongue round some challenging words and to ensure that it flows smoothly and sounds genuine when spoken.
Keep it at a steady pace, practice mindful breathing as you may are likely to be nervous on the day. Remember, if you are planning to keep you vows a secret do practice on your own and make sure that you have a good read through in case you need to make some changes to how it sounds, how the sentences flow or anything else.
As your Celebrant, this is one of my favourite parts of any ceremony as it lets the couple to individually put their stamp on it. Remember to, as your Celebrant I am always here to support you through writing your own wedding vows, so just click HERE book a 15 minute chat if you get stuck or email them to me at info@denise-whelan-celebrant.com
You’ve got this!
I hope that this blog has been a huge help and inspired you to write your vows with confidence, commitment and from the heart.
