With Valentine’s Day behind us it got me thinking about all of those proposals and the subsequent wedding plans. I wondered how many of those proposals were traditional and has it always been a ‘down on one knee’ tradition! I did a little bit of research and found that there have been a few quirky traditions that are still in use.
For example, the Celts used large standing stones for proposals, believe it or not, you often see these stone, they are the stones with a large hand sized hole about a quarter of the way from the top. The couple would stand either side of the stone and place their hands through the hole – one side is slightly larger than the other -for the man! And when their hands met, they would proclaim their undying love for each other and proclaim their engagement. There are a number of these holed stones still in Ireland. One in particular, known as the dough hole stone in County Antrim, still attracts couples who wish to partake in this traditional pagan and Celtic ritual.
Handfasting wedding traditions
Then I got to thinking a bit more about the wedding ceremony itself, I know from the ceremonies I’ve undertaken that another popular tradition used is Handfasting and is frequently used when couples pledge themselves to each other at their wedding but I discovered that is also a ceremony that was also used for for engagements. Traditionally, the couple hold hands and a cord or ribbon is wrapped around the hands and then tied into a knot. This declares the joining together of the couple and signifies the bond they have made.
The act of handfasting and the intertwining of the cord ties in with the Celtic and Pagan interlacing rituals. Did you know, interlacing was used to adorn precious items and items of importance and significance, for example jewellery and documents. The unbroken knotwork pattern signifies eternity and the cycle of life.
So, you may be curious to know how handfasting came about? In pre-Christian Europe weddings were straightforward simple affairs whereby two families came together worked out a deal on land ownership and maybe traded goods, the couple the exchanged gifts, clasped hands and made loyal oaths to each other. And then, like today, the families and friends would get together and throw a party. A full religious ceremony conducted by a Druid priest was only for those of high social status. For most, a marriage ceremony was a do-it-yourself affair with the community as witnesses.
Pagans wore their ribbons for the duration of their engagement which is believed to have lasted for a year and a day – often considered a trial marriage! It is a custom that has been adopted into modern weddings and can be adapted to include some of the elements you want for your own wedding – Earth, Water, Air and Fire. A collaboration of respect, self-awareness, awareness of another’s needs and desires, authenticity, understanding and love are some of the keys to a most fulfilling relationship.
At a Handfasting ceremony the elements are shared with the Bride/Groom/Partner gifts and more for all of the days of their lives. For example, at a Handfasting ceremony the Celebrant will ask the elements for the following:
- From Air – light heartedness, curiosity, playfulness and peace
- From Fire – courage, passion, radiance and warmth
- From Water – stillness, strength, creativity and flow
- From earth – humility, friendship, gratitude and growth
This tradition is quite popular and frequently included alongside the more the traditional wedding ceremony too and takes place before the actual wedding vows with both parties’ hands being tied together during the ceremony, therefore, tying the knot! This is where the phrase originates. Handfasting is a way to show love and commitment to each other in front of friends and family whilst also showing the world that you are committed to each other.
It is seen as a ceremony that bonds the Bride and Groom to join their lives and also acknowledge the connection of not only their souls but their connection with all the earthly elements and ask too for their blessings.
Jumping the Broom
Many cultures have rituals that are integrated into wedding ceremonies to celebrate heritage and also to pass down customs to other generations. Jumping the Broom is a fun tradition steeped in black wedding traditions. The idea is to sweep away any past negativity from your life before embarking on a fresh start with your spouse.
After vows are exchanged, the newlyweds hold hands and jump over the broom to seal the union. In Christian ceremonies the broom handle represents God and the straw bristles signify the couple’s families. A ribbon is tied around the broom to symbolise the binding of the couple. However, in Pagan ceremonies it is said that the broom handle represents the male phallus! With the bristles representing female energy.
As a Celebrant there is so much fun in delivering a traditional Pagan ritual with a modern twist. Once presented with these different traditions at the planning stage of a wedding ceremony, couples are keen to add one as a surprise for their family, friends and guests making it a ceremony to remember. If you would like to discuss how to include one of these ceremonies in your wedding or would like a free wedding ceremony consultation to discover other traditions to include in your wedding ceremony, please contact Denise on info@denise-whelan-celebrant.com .
